he sat there in the field
his fingers strumming the guitar
each strum breaking the silence of the night
music flooding my ears
the melancholy drone of his notes
hummed in my ears
as I looked at him
entranced by the darkness of the night
and the silent laughter of the stars

his faraway look
told stories of love
and sang songs of joy

he was beside me and yet never was with
me
his soul probes deeper into mine
i tried the same
but i cannot penetrate the shell
that covers his soul

so, i, too look up at the sky
search eternity
silently laugh with the stars
and become entranced.

background: written on april fool's day of 1996. this was probably the only poem i have written for my ex. and the poem was written even before we got to be good friends. we were occasional pals who fooled around when we were together but were not really friends, if you know what i mean. we were in bel field with some of his blockmates when that moment he was playing the guitar moved me to write this piece.

Masdan mo ang babae na nakaupo sa ilalim
ng waiting shed. Mukhang may hinihintay.

Ano kaya?
Hinihintay ba niya ang paglubog ng araw at
paglabas ng buwan?
Pati na rin ang paglabas ng bituin sa pagitan
ng dilim at pagdaan ng ulap na pasandali?
Hinihintay ba niya ang awit ng mga kuliglig
na nakatago sa likod ng bawat dahon ng
puno?
Ang nga kaya?

O baka naman sino?
Ang isang kaibigang bubuhusan ng luha
matapos sabihan ng problema?
O isang estrangherong kikilalanin matapos
dumaan sa harap niya?
O baka naman ang mangingibig na
ikawalumpu't siyam na beses nang nagtatapat
ng pagmamahal?
Sino nga kaya?

At kung hindi dumating ang hinihintay niya,
magbabago ba ang buhay?

-may 24, 1996

background: i often wonder what people wait for when they are by a waiting shed especially in Ateneo since there has been no commuter buses there since 1995. when i am the one waiting by the waiting shed, i also wonder what people think i am doing there. hence this poem.